You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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