I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Let's paint friendship bongs
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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