And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
