so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
