You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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