I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
