bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
