my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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