You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
