She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
