the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
