I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
