I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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