thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
