I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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