Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this will be a night to untag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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