You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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