I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Randomize
