I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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