how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think your dad took our porno
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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