We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
