so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
