She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize