but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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