no, he came in my armpit
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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