Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
