that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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