I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
