I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I lost the right to judge tonight
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
