I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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