Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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