I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
