does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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