Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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