Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
