I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
no you cant smoke seaweed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
