Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
