I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
its liver damage thursday
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
