This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
