Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
