He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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