So drunk its hurt
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize