Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
