just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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