There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
