I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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