i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize