i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
