yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
