I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
