I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
