My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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