Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
