dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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