So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize