Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
