I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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