Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
